It’s a well known fact that the use of condoms can prevent the necessity of taking an STD panel test. However, a slightly lesser known fact is that there are many other ways in which a condom can be useful to you. Whilst they may only come with one set of instructions on the box, we can tell you just what to do with any that are left over.
Make a Stress Ball
The politics of dating, having sex, and especially of having STD panel tests after you’ve had sex with someone can be very stressful. Help yourself to calm down by making yourself your very own condom stress ball. It’s so easy to do – simply unroll the condom and begin filling it with flour, swinging it from side to side after every couple of spoonfuls in order to compact the flour. When the condom is full, simply tie a knot in the top, then take a marker pen and draw a face on the front of it to give it just a bit more personality. Your stress ball can now be moulded into whatever shape you fancy, and is ready and waiting to help you cope with all that angst.
Have you ever been babysitting and found that you’re completely unable to stop the children from crying? You start to root around in your pockets, looking for anything that will entertain them, but all you manage to find is that condom you carry around with you because you don’t want to have to take an STD panel test. But don’t despair! Believe it or not, a condom can save you in this situation. Take the condom out of the wrapper and stretch it out, then take a pen and draw a caricature of some description on the front. Slip the condom onto your finger and there you have it – a simple finger puppet show. If it doesn’t entertain the child, you can be sure it will baffle them into silence.
You just never know when you’re going to end up caught in a water balloon fight, and there’s every chance you might not have any balloons to hand if you do. If you’ve been caught unawares, your attackers may well suspect that you have no ammunition to retaliate with, but oh how wrong they could be. Condoms can work just as well as water balloons, if not better, as they make bigger weapons; simply fill up the condom with tap water, take aim and fire! It will take your opponents a second to figure out what’s hit them, which gives you time to take cover. But don’t forget to restock the condoms after the water fight, or you’ll need an STD panel test before you know it.
Our final way to make use of a condom requires slightly more planning, as a glow in the dark variety is needed. Next time you go on a camping trip, make sure these are exactly the type of protection that you take with you – that way if your torch batteries run out you won’t be left in the dark. A condom filled with water provides the best results here, but a condom filled with air will also work. It may not provide enough light to guide you through a dark forest, but if you hang it over the door of the tent it will certainly help you find your way back.
So next time you find yourself in a sticky situation, take a second to work out whether a condom can help you or not. But be sure to replace any that you use before you next need them, or you’ll wind up buying an STD panel rather than a new box of condoms.
|Tim Leach is part of USALabTesting that can provide a confidential, online STD panel test. With over 2,000 clinics across the USA and a large range of STD testing available, getting peace of mind is discreet, easy and painless.|
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